nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
