i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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