i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Sorry about my life...
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