Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
