It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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