Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
