I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You are a genius and a whore.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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