So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
