people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
