All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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