I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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