I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
