i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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