why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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