I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize