i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
