We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
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