he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
