She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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