just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Randomize
