nut hugger
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
