There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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