I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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