i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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