Whod you bang
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
