But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
