I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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