I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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