thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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