THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
