Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
