if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
