of course. lets lasso hookers.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
