Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
