But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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