Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
