Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
