new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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