who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
