The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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