I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
