i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
