Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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