Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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