I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Randomize