I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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