remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
