I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
