did you get engaged???
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize