Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
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