Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
