That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize