Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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