we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
