Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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