The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
