The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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