he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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