Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
