i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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