my sisters under your porch take her home
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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