what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
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