from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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